So glad you are here. Friday Five is all about being intentional about our mental health. 5 ideas, questions, tools, and resources to encourage you to lean in, care for yourself and reset.
As store displays shift from discounted Christmas decor to pink and red streamers and heart-shaped everything, we anticipate the next holiday on our calendars: Valentine’s Day. As with many holidays, we can expect to be bombarded with messages about how we are supposed to love those around us. Lists of “perfect”date or activity ideas, gifts, and cheesy greeting cards, each offering us hope that this will communicate to our loved ones just how much we care for them. But when was the last time we really thought about what makes these people feel loved? And have we ever actually asked them? Today’s Friday Five offers insights into the 5 Love Languages and how you can use each of them to love those around you the way they want to be loved this Valentine’s Day.
According to The 5 Love Languages website (2024), the Languages were developed by Gary Chapman as an opportunity to learn how you give and receive love. By understanding yourself and those around you better, you may connect more profoundly, identify the origins of conflicts, and engage in more meaningful relationships. The 5 Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation. People who identify with words of affirmation as being their primary Love Language feel most valued when receiving acknowledgements of affection and encouragement. Sharing a sentimental card, note or text, or even writing an old-fashioned letter are a few ways to appreciate this loved one.
- Physical Touch. For some, consensual physical touch best demonstrates your care and appreciation for them. With a romantic partner, affection demonstrated by a kiss, massage or intimate moment can be meaningful. With friends, hugs, and high fives, and with kids, a cuddle can be a powerful demonstration of care for them. It is important to always ask for consent before touching anyone and remember that consent can be withdrawn from all forms of touch at any time!
- Quality Time. For individuals whose Love Language is quality time, undivided attention is key. For these individuals, limiting distractions, engaging in meaningful conversations, and planning intentional dates or activities demonstrates that you value the time you spend with them. This offers incredible value to relationships with romantic partners, friends, and kids.
- Acts of Service. Going out of your way to make this loved one’s life easier is the creme de la creme, bar none. For these people, actions speak louder than words. Consider putting extra effort into completing chores that would otherwise fall on this person – doing this without being asked demonstrates that you notice what they do and that you want to relieve that burden.
- Receiving Gifts. Dr. Chapman describes gifts as “visual symbols of love.” For individuals whose love language is receiving gifts, tokens of appreciation demonstrate the thoughtfulness and care of the gift-giver. There is a lot of value in the gift-giving process: from money earned and spent, to time spent purchasing or creating an item, and care taken to wrap it as a gift. When deciding on a gift, consider what that person wants (or needs). Unsure of what to get them? Ask! Many people will respond well when prompted to share an idea.
Interested in learning what your Love Language is? Check out the Love Languages Quiz.
Remember that everyone gives and receives love differently, so what makes you feel most loved may not be the same as your partner, child or friend. And remember that there is often more than one way that people feel loved, which may also change over time. If you don’t know how to love the important people in your life best, ask them what helps them to feel seen, cared for and valued – then act on it! We hope this helps you to feel connected to those around you. As always, if speaking with a therapist can help to work out your love language, or help you learn to care for others differently, please reach out!
Melissa Mote, RP(Q)
Social Media & Administration Coordinator
